I am the kind of tourist the Chinese Government would love to ban, or even imprison as a lesson to others. I had not only committed a crime in their soil, I am also guilty of attempted bribery of a Chinese official.

The year was 2005 and it was my last day in Tibet before I take the most expensive flight in the world back to Kathmandu, Nepal. The day before, I had earnestly tried to engage the services of a Tibetan runner based in a Tibetan hotel to get the entrance tickets for me and a Korean friend to visit the Potala Palace. No visit to Tibet is complete without at least setting foot in this most famous and historic landmark in Western China. 

The sincere but bumbling chap went about it twice but both times could not get the tickets. Each time he came back asking for more money. I had already given him the price of the tickets on top of his service charge. As I didn’t think it was worth to pay more than what I had already done, I did not relent any further and he was all apologies after that.

Still, the determination to step foot into that postcard-perfect place was entrenched deep in my heart. By hook or by crook, I would walk inside the palace before I left. I might never see it again in my lifetime.

The next day, having spent the day with my Korean friend whom I met on the road trip from Kathmandu to Lhasa, by about 4pm, I walked to the ticket booth leading to the palace. The foot of the hill was a bit crowded with Tibetan runners and tourists especially from China. But local pilgrims probably outnumbered the tourists. It was around August, so the weather was still not too cold. I was wondering whether  it was a public holiday as there were a lot of Tibetan pilgrims. Perhaps, the pilgrimage is a year-round event, regardless of holidays. After all, most Tibetans are farmers, and are free when farm work was all done.

The queue was quite long and most were buying tickets for the next day. I found out that I could have queued myself the day before and got the tickets. However,  time was short and I didn’t want to spend it queuing for tickets. I knew that I would not be able to  get the ticket for that day itself. The entrance was wide open and people were busy waiting for tickets or were otherwise milling about. 

The last batch of visitors were due to come down after a guided tour. In fact, some were already coming down.

Then, opportunity struck. Two Chinese gentlemen who looked like tourists nonchalantly ascended the slope leading to the palace. I followed them closely behind. The idea was to pretend that I was part of the last group, but who had decided to turn back to have a last look at the palace. The ruse did not work -at first. We heard several shouts from the entrance for us to go back down.

The two men did not heed the shouts and continued to walk up. I followed.

Near a winding corner on the way up, a Chinese official stopped the 2 men. This time, the men turned back and descended the slope. I, however, told the official that it was my last day in Tibet and I had to see the palace before I leave. I offered some money. He steadfastly refused and coolly told me that I had to beat a retreat.

This time, I told him I just needed to go up a bit more to take some photos. He gave in and I walked up. I looked back and when he was no longer in sight, I walked faster and then I saw to my right, some concrete steps across the side of the wall.

I quickly climbed the steps and arrived at the rest area where a number of tourists were milling about, some resting. This was the last part of the tour. There were some Chinese policemen but no one batted an eyelid at me.

I had blended perfectly with those hordes of Chinese tourists. Although I was walking against the flow of human traffic, no one had bothered. Thankfully, I could even understand parts of the guided tour, which was conducted in Mandarin.

I believe I saw most of the Potala Palace that day. Even, all those scary statuettes. And dark corners of the palace. I am still wondering why statuettes in temples, cathedrals and palaces representing gods sometimes put more fear than devotion in you. Or, at least that’s how I felt.

It was good to have seen the Potala but till this day, I still wonder why the Tibetans treat it like a sacred place, same as how the Muslims treat the Kaabah in Mecca. Perhaps it’s just me. I was not hit by a feeling of awe.

From afar though, atop a plateau on one of the highest points on earth, the Potala cut a majestic work of art. The picture did deserve a place in the home of every Tibetan because there is nothing quite like it for miles and miles around.  

I never regretted having stolen into the Potala Palace.

People

When you exit Hyatt Hotel, a 5-star hotel, you come face to face with the gritty and grim life outside. It tugs at your heartstrings, but I see all the Filipinos (universal term that includes the females as well) immune to the stark contrast. Life goes on. Maybe the church should help? Or, maybe they believe it’s in their karmic destiny (unlikely because most are Catholics). I find it hard to swallow that such extreme contrasts exist side by side. Same in Indonesia especially in Jakarta.

Perhaps, it’s the Malay/Polynesian race added with some Chinese and Spanish blood that make Filipinos such an enigmatic lot. You never know what you get when you mix things up.  Add Roman Catholicism to the melting pot and you have, well, a very unique people not found elsewhere. It’s the only Asian nation that has adopted Christianity. The fervour with which some take the religion is rather notable. Take for example, a devout taxi-driver who only listens to Catholic sermons on the radio. Yes, there is a dedicated radio channel bringing sermons to the people. Same with television. His taxi is filled with all these Catholic paraphenalia and Christian words of encouragement. When the priest was praying on the radio, the ernest chap would clasp his hands together and pray along. I was also praying too – that he only does it when he stops at the traffic lights and when there’s a traffic jam. God answered my prayers, hopefully his too, whatever he’s praying for.

You have the beggar children
and older people on the streets. You have agressive taxidrivers who
will fight you for an extra 10 pesos (that’s less than RM1). One time, I wanted to try the street food that common Filipinos eat, and so, I dropped in at a small food shop (in Indonesia, they call it warong, In Malaysia, gerai). The workers were a little perplexed to see me there (it’s in a tourist district after all), but are quite happy serving me. The food was far tastier than restaurant food and at 1/3 of the price. It was about 11am then, and most Filipinos order just one dish (usually meat) to go with the rice. There were also two men drinking the cheap Miguel beer (which is the beer of choice in the Philippines- nothing great. Compared to Beer Lao from Laos, Miguel might even rate at the bottom of the heap, with Beer Lao at the top). Another time, I dropped by another stall, and the same scenario greeted me. People do not order too many dishes and there would always be one or 2 tables of people drinking beer at that time of day. To be honest, I see that sometimes in Malaysia too at some dingy coffee-shops.

At the other end of the scale, Makati looks more like spanking clean Singapore CBD.  Wide roads with enough shopping malls to satiate all your shopping cravings. Expensive cars are  being paraded inside the malls. They have every kind of shops that you can find anywhere from KL, Bkk to HK. Franchises like Starbucks, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Crocs shoes, Baleno, G2000 and even the really upscale brands like Prada, DKNY, Hugo Boss, Armani Exchange can be found in spanking clean luxurious surroundings. Being such devout Catholics, a church service was even being held right inside a shopping mall when I dropped by on a Sunday.

 I was told entertainers earn a lot in the Philippines. Models and singers earn a lot but the competition is fierce. Very hard to find jobs there as there are too many applicants chasing after too few jobs. One needs to know some influential people in order to land a good job. Which explains why thousands of Filipinos leave the country every year to find greener pastures in America, Europe, the Middle East, and some come to Singapore, HK and Malaysia to work as maids or entertainers. Some of these are highly educated but have no connections and are thus confined to menial jobs like waitressing and nannying – a sad state of affairs indeed.

 The rich are so rich they stay away from the masses of poverty which I perceive is an eyesore to them. One can get so psychologically immune about it. They employ their own security guards and stay at the outskirts of Manila, cocooned in their own luxurious splendour. Security guard business is big business in the Philippines. Even 7-Eleven shops employ them. While only banks and other big companies employ security guards in Malaysia, over there, even the travel companies employ security guards. And the cashier is stationed inside a locked room with windows around for any transactions involving money.

There is an expectation of robberies and snatch thefts in Manila. Do as the Filipinos do. Lock the door after you enter the taxi, otherwise you might find a stranger on the street opening it and demanding something. Bombings have even occurred previously. I have been fortunate not to witness any, almost. Well, there was one time, a friend and I went up the horse-drawn carriage (kalesa) after they promised the fare to be about 20 pesos each for a short distance. However, halfway through the journey, another man leapt up the horses and said the horses were his and we have to pay 100 pesos each to him! To me that was daylight robbery. We had a little war of words and in the end, I told them to take us to the tourist police. However, my friend was afraid they would take us somewhere else and paid up. For some reason, I was not afraid and was trying to see where they would take us. The adventurer in me forgot that this country is essentially lawless, yet surrounds itself with legalese as if it’s a law-abiding country.

Later, when I related this story to a Filipina, she told me that the kalesa should cost only 10 pesos per person for the short distance  covered. And we paid 100 pesos each - a whopping 10 times more.   

Sex and Love  

Filipinos are generally romantic people. Valentines’ Day is celebrated on a bigger scale than Chinese New Year. Not surprisingly since they revere all the Christian saints and St Valentines’s is one of them. Chinese New Year is like any other day with no public holiday.

They are passionate about love songs and take the chance to sing anytime they can. Karaokes are very popular there.  So are massage centres which cater mainly to tourists, at least in the tourist areas. Filipinos have their own style of massage but it’s not well-known. One can get that near the Black Nazarene Church in Quaipo. AT the tourist districts however, they have adopted Thai and Chinese massage styles. Only the Chinese massage at an upscale massage therapy centre located in a hotel in Malate is worth the price. Same price in Malaysia. RM50 per hour. Two others I went to weren’t up to the mark. I also tried the Ritz, a popular spa with the Koreans. Very nice ambience. It was so cozy that I dozed off while the masseuse gave me a leg massage. When she woke me up, I couldn’t remember the entire session!

Staff inside the spa could be a little over-attentive – kept looking at you even though you are trying to change!!! Tips are expected of course for little things like bringing you the towels or drinks. Speaking of which, the Filipinos have adopted the American way of life when it comes to tipping. The tipping culture is so entrenched that if you forget or do not tip, it’s like losing face. Coming from  a non-tipping culture, I felt like money draining off me all the time! Of course, I tried to balance it with the thought that these people earn very little.

It seesms like a common thing for Filipino men to impregnate a few women and not be
responsible for the babies. And women continue to fall
for them because of their good Caucasion looks (some of the lucky ones have that prized caucasian mixed looks). It seems that every other woman I met is a single mother.
This is another hard fact to stomach. The population
is more than 70 plus million and growing at an
alarming rate. Why? Because Filipinos (incl Filipinas)
are such romantic people that they fall in love
easily. Love hotels abound and are advertised quite openly. You also find the same concept in Thailand. Hotels with covered car parks where curtains are pulled across to hide the cars from any suspicious spouses or business rivals can be found in many places.

 The population explosion would have been contained except for the fact
that the Philippines is a staunch  Roman Catholic
country which prohibits the use of contraceptives. So, you can
imagine what happens.. Women get pregnant by the
thousands on a regular basis. And babies are born out
of wedlock at an alarming rate. It’s common to find families with at least 5-10 children. Not surprising if you do not use contraceptives. They do sell condoms of course, both imported and local. You can find them at 7-Eleven and pharmacies. The funny thing is these young women can be mothers but not look it. Somehow, they manage to retain their slim bodies and it’s only after you talk to them that they tell you that they already have a baby.

I happened to hook up with a friend’s friend while there. Being with a local helped tremendously as you don’t get ripped off and people leave you alone. Chris even cooked beef steak for me at the beach bbq pit. She sleeps at 5am while I sleep at 1 am! Being a dancer, she is a night person, has 3 mobile phones with her, sms-es like mad, drinks like mad and sleeps very late, or shall I say, early. Filipinos party till 5am in the morning and wake up the next day needing a drink.

Food 

A little something about the food.  Filipinos are not as concerned about eating healthy as the Thais are. You hardly find mobile stalls plying fruits as can be found everywhere in Thailand. They eat more meat, too much meat in fact. Which probably explains why the lust is on a high level. Meat eaters generally are more into sex, at least from what I gather. And it increases chances of diseases too. Food is generally bland. Even the highly-touted Chinese restaurant near the Black Nazarene church offerred food that I could hardly eat. Such food would be practically inedible in Malaysia, yet there were a lot of patrons. Prices are like double that in Malaysia. The coffee shop has been around so long it’s practically an institution there. Even the cash till register was of a bygone era – without a doubt, it’s an antique piece and they know it.

The best food is street food, i have tried some of the
top recommended restaurants but the food just adds to
the long list of disappointments in Manila. Aristocrat (another food institution) and
Zamboanga restaurants, highly recommended proved to be a little worse
off than the average restaurant fare in Malaysia. Prices are one third higher too. In Zamboanga, a little fly landed on my food, and I couldn’t resist asking the waiter if grilled flies were on the menu too.

In conclusion, it is not the best place to live unless you spend one month on the private beach in Puerto Galera or the Boracay. It is also not the best place to invest partly because Manila is not such a good place to stay compared to KL or Bkk. The choking traffic and pollution will kill you. One does not feel so safe in Manila. The casino manager at Hyatt whom I had a chat with told me that it is very common to read about assasination plots against President Arroyo. It was front page news headlines when I was there. He is another example of how Manila traffic jams reduce the quality of life. He spends up to 3 hours a day commuting to and from the casino. Imagine I was complaining about the 2 hours I spent commuting in KL.

The other minus is the very American way of thinking in terms of rights. They use legal words everywhere. Literacy rate is very high. But that means, they can use words and legal technicalities against you. If you are in business, you don’t want that to happen.  
 

Manila

The only good thing abt Manila is the alcohol and the
casino at Hyatt – nice big casino in a 5-star setting with texas hold’em poker games
etc, free meals, otherwise skip it to go to the
provinces. Another thing good is cheap pirated DVDs. For 100 pesos apiece, I get 5 movies in one. I was curious abt the yellow titles they pushed me to buy too. So,  I bought one from this old lady selling them at a street stall. Turned out lots of the footage came from home videos, and in one love hotel bedroom scene, the couple looked and acted like an ordinary couple. I am pretty sure the video camera was hidden and they weren’t aware of it. All the signs were there. Video camera was hidden behind a two-way mirror. This is the second time I saw a video made without consent of the actors/participants. For a measly 100 pesos to catch a glimpse of something illegal, I suppose it was well worth it.

The best thing abt Philippines is perhaps the beaches.
Glorious unspoilt beaches.. you can stay at beachfront
cottages with superb views for abt 2500 pesos (RM200). For this
kind of views, it’s worth it. It’s a private beach and the only people you will meet are the workers and a few other guests. No one else. Water’s a bit cool for swimming though. Island-hopping used to be possible for a cruise run by one of the resorts in Puerta Galera. However, it has stopped now. Not sure of the reason. Could be anything – piracy, defective ship, low number of takers, too expensive ? Based on what I read on the internet however, it was mostly positive  feedback on the one-week tour.

With 7,000 plus islands, it’s no wonder you have some
of the best sea views, both above and underwater. The
snorkelling is not as organized as in Thailand, as in
everything else. Here, you have to rent a boat – abt
500 Pesos for half day. The boat at Puerto Galera will
take you to Long Beach known for its abundant
beautiful corals. Although the Lonely Planet guidebook describes it
as bleached, to me, the coral were still wonderful -
bright brilliant colours and moving with that slow speed you only find in dreams.  

However, before you could reach
it, you have to hire another smaller boat (all boats
are outrigger style) – which will take you nearer
shore to the best coral views. You hold on to the rope
across the motorized outrigger and hang in there with both hands while your head
tilts down underwater to survey the wondrous living
creatures therein. This must be laziest snorkelling that I have ever done in my entire life. The boat just pulls you along and you hardly exert yourself except holding on to the outrigger poles with your 2 hands. You swim with all kinds of fishes — the
water’s a bit cold but the views were worth it. The fishes were not as plenty as the corals near Phi Phi Island in Thailand. However, the vast living corals made up for the lack of fishes.  

The weather’s cooler than Thailand but perhaps it’s
still “winter”. Funnily enough, while on the tricycle
on the way to the Muir Pier, we came across a funeral
procession. Apparently, one of the town’s lawyers, a
young 31-year old had been shot while riding in a
tricycle. Immediately, one would think that he must be
involved in some very hostile court cases, but on
further enquiries, it was revealed that he was one of
the financiers for the island’s illegal betting
syndicates. 2/42 wins you 7000 pesons for just an
investment of 10 pesos. He had apparently been warned
by the govt to stop, at least 3 times but did not heed them. Next thing you know, 
a lone gunman did the job. Hard to
imagine that in such a peaceful tranquil place, such an
act would occur.

I met an elderly canadian woman who had been to my
hotel 7 times for the last 7 years. She kept saying
this is the best place on earth she’s ever been to.
What can be better than this.. it’s paradise, and
that’s my view too, to an extent. She teaches English in South Korea and
goes to Puerta Galera every year for a break. She was pretty high
on wine the last time we met.

For some reason, the Koreans love Manila. Lots of
restaurants and investments there esp in Malate, which
houses some of the top hotels and tourist attractions.
It’s right next to Manila Bay which from what I hear has
legendary sunset views. I have been there twice trying
to catch the legend but on both occasions, I left
disappointed. If you have seen the glorious
technicolour sunsets at Krabi (Railay Beach) or Bali
(Uluwatu cliffs), then you would know what I mean.

The Koreans are really into Philippines. One time, I tried to look for a coffee shop (the one that sells mix rice) somewhere in the heart of the entertainment area, and all I could find are Korean restaurants and coffee shops (the one that sells overpriced drinks). So, I had no choice but to try out one of the Korean shops. Ordered the barbequed pork (I thought it was beef). The owner herself or maybe the chief cook came and barbequed for me and explained to me how it should be eaten. Barbequed meat should be wrapped in lettuce with the condiments, and not how I usually eat it – just plonk the meat into the mouth.  I must say it’s a disappointment again. The beef barbeque I had at a Korean restaurant in KL tastes way better, and cheaper too.

To be con’t.  

Warning: This is a semi-fictitious,
semi-autobiographical account of a life lived on the
edge. Contents may be scandalous and may contain sex
and violent elements. Readers with strong religious
convictions, and upright citizens as well as
self-described moral police are gently advised to
refrain from reading. Parents are advised to explain
to their children what they read is purely fanciful
imagination and the acts described are not to be
emulated. Nor the attitude.